How Being a Mom Led Me to Crossfit and a Healthier Self Image

Every year with the month of January also comes a month of being inundated with every aspect of the health industry.  It seems like everywhere I turn I see – Join my Whole30 group, Click here to learn how to meal prep for the Keto diet, Free gym memberships, Half off vitamins and supplements, Mommy and Me fitness classes… and the list goes on and on. And not all of this is bad; in fact, it was a New Year’s Resolution four years ago that pushed me to step into a Crossfit box {that is what Crossfitters call gyms} for the first time.

At the time, I am not really sure what propelled me to take this step; I just knew that something in my life was out of alignment. I had a great marriage, great kids, great job, and for all intents and purposes a great life. Except for one part – I had a terrible self-image, and I could see it affecting every part of me. I found myself looking down the entire time I was in any bathroom, as to try and avoid making eye contact with a mirror. I was constantly sizing myself up to other women, and I mean that literally, like wondering how much larger I was than the woman standing next to me. I started to avoid certain activities with my kids that would require me to have to wear a bathing suit. When my husband would compliment my appearance, I would quickly correct him by pointing out a flaw or telling him, “Well, you have to say things like that, you are my husband!” For the record, he doesn’t have to say nice things about my physical appearance; it is a blessing to be married to someone who does! But, even the best of men can get discouraged when they are constantly being shut down. 

I also noticed how this began to affect my daughter’s self-image, and she is a junior higher so we don’t need anything aiding in the fight for a positive body image! But, when you have a mom that is constantly avoiding activities and changing clothes 8-10 times because “everything makes her look fat”, it is only natural to begin questioning your own appearance, and that is exactly what happened. 

So, let me go ahead and scratch that statement above, I knew exactly what propelled me to walk into that box for the first time. I needed a change, and not just because I didn’t like the way I looked outwardly, but because I wasn’t in love with myself on the inside. I was sick of my internal dialogue telling me who I was, what I could or could not do or could or could not wear, and I was damned if my daughter was going to have the same struggle! 

Was I terrified the first time I waked into that box? Yes! But I did it anyway, and I kept doing it. I kept coming back, again and again. I am happy to report that I have indeed dropped 3 pants sizes, can out lift my body weight in most Olympics lifts, can run for longer than 7 minutes {something I could not do when I started}, have competed in 10+ competitions, and can complete most of the movements in any given workout. More importantly though, my daughter has seen me strong, confident, and comfortable in my skin. She has been around a sport in which every body type looks very different, and everyone is both great and terrible at something. She has seen how the girls with the thickest thighs have the biggest gains. She has watched incredibly strong, beautiful women push their bodies to do things that they didn’t even think capable – and then cheer on other women to do the same thing. She has seen how your body is more than just how it looks in a pair of jeans – it is functional and beautiful regardless of size, just the way God intended. 

I started out as a Crossfitter so I could look better physically. I stay a Crossfitter because I am a mom. I personally think Crossfit is for everyone, but if Crossfit is not your thing, then use this January as a way to figure out what your thing is. Do this not just for you, but for those little eyes that are watching you!